


Space to Grow

by thewakeless



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Fingering, Hook Up, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Shower Sex, Smut, Spanking, club, phanfic, underage dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-05 16:42:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14048475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewakeless/pseuds/thewakeless
Summary: Dan is a depressed teen who has only one thing figured out, he likes to have sex with men.  But after a year of clubs and hookups, he meets someone who shows him there is more to life than one night stands.





	1. Chapter 1

It started when Dan was young, too young, and it started because his whole life sucked. At school he was made fun of for how he spoke, and how he dressed, and for being gay, even when he said he wasn't. His so called friends never stood up for him, and just shrugged it off like a normal thing. Dan didn’t have much in common with them, and often felt like he was tagging along rather than one of the group. All of them did sports, and had girlfriends, and often hung out without even inviting him. And it hurt, cause he had known them all his life, and they were supposed to be his friends. He tried talking to them about serious things, or getting them to participate in the things he liked, like drama, or video games and internet forums, but they were never interested. 

The worst however, were his parents. It didn't matter that they loved him, they had absolutely no time for him. All of their time was spent at work, or babying his little brother. Dan was an afterthought. They didn't care where he was, and they certainly didn't care what was happening to him as long as he was home at a decent time and was making good grades. 

When he was ten years old he had once tried talking to them about the fact that he had crush on a boy. The conversation went something like this:

"Mum, when you were in school did you like any of your friends?"

"Of course I did," she said as she spoon fed the baby. 

"No, I mean did you like one of them." 

"Oh!" She smiled back at Dan. "You have a crush on a girl?" Before Dan could even open his mouth she continued. “Those are totally normal, and why not bring her over for ice cream or something, or we can take you guys to the movies. I'm sure she'll like you," she ruffled Dan's hair. "Just ask her."

"It's not really like that..."

"What'd you mean?"

At this point Dan said, "I don't like a girl," but somehow his mom heard, "I don't like a girl."

She frowned, "Then what are we even talking about?" Before Dan could say anything else his little brother had turned over his food bowl and splashed it all over his mom and her work clothes. The next five minutes were spent frantically cleaning while his mom ran upstairs for a change of clothes. He never tried talking to her about it again. 

In the books and movies Dan loved everybody had someone to talk to. Sometimes it was a friend, sometimes it was a parent, and sometimes it was even a stranger, but the older Dan got the more he felt that he was alone. There was no one who actually liked talking to him; he had no real friends, no best friend, and certainly no boyfriend. He didn't even know anybody who was "out". In his school all the boys acted like immature, dickheads, and even when they were really cute and attractive he couldn't actually picture dating any of them. Among his friends he had several crushes but it was hopeless, they were all fiercely heterosexual and as the years passed Dan felt he had to hide more and more of who he really was. 

But it all changed, one Friday night when he was fourteen. He invited himself to a hang-out at a friend's house. There were ten of them, six guys, four girls, and like many times before they began passing around a water-down bottle of whiskey that someone had stolen. The people grew louder, and cheerier as Dan felt more and more depressed about his life with every drink, and then one of the girls suggested they go to a Club. Everyone jumped at the idea, and before long they had stocked piled into one car and driven twenty minutes to the rowdiest part of town. The club choose was a big one, with a bad reputation, and they were led in without waiting in line or having to show ID's. The fact that they were all obviously underage was no problem at all. 

Inside Dan found horrible music, blinding lights, and a sea of bodies. He also found a bar. That night he drank, and he danced, and he thought among the flashing neon lights, and suddenly an idea popped into his mind, one he didn't think was half bad when he had sobered up the next day. As expected his parents didn't much mind that he had spent all night out, they took it as a normal sign of adolescence, and for the first time Dan was grateful. He had all the freedom to act upon his impulse. 

At fourteen years old, and all by himself he got into a gay club. He got in partially because he was tall, and partially because he was wearing an oversized coat that made him look bigger than he was. The dimness helped, for even if he had the height, Dan had a baby face. Inside was a world that he had always dreamed of. Two hundred men and boys, dancing and yelling and drinking, partially clothed, grabbing each other, giggling, his eyes didn't know where to go. The first night he just stood along the wall, watching, like it was a TV-show. The second night, he planted himself at the bar, and drank more than he should because he wanted to be brave, and do something for once. Underneath the blue lights at the bar he was much more visible, and several men came and talked to him. That was convenient, they bought his drinks, they danced with him, a couple even grinded on him, and damn that was nice. With one who was particularly young and good-looking (couldn't have been twenty yet) Dan even had his first proper make-out session, but when the guy asked him to come back to his place, he chickened out and instead masturbated in the bathroom before catching a bus home. 

That week at school he felt like a different person. Now he had a secret that nobody knew. He counted down the days, and the hours until Friday night and then he told his parents that he was going to a party. This time, he sat at the bar waiting for the first person to offer him a drink, he didn't have to wait long. The guy was very good looking, with long brown hair to his shoulder, and almond shaped green eyes. He had a deep voice, and a muscular figure, and as he came forward he looked like he was undressing Dan with his eyes. And he was into it, after all that's what he had come here for. They drank together, and then danced together, and then he told Dan that his car was just outside.  


It wasn't a bad experience. Dan got what he wanted, and he enjoyed every touch, even when it hurt. But it felt bad afterwards, when he got out of the car and the dude, whose name he never learned just drove away. He went to the bus station and sat by himself, trying not to cry, while he cried. He snuck into his house and lay down on his stomach and sobbed into his pillow till his face was red and he was asleep at last. He didn't go back to the club for over a month. in that time he felt constantly sick. He went on forums, and tried to find the real stories of how people had lost their virginity. It seemed a big portion of them regretted it. Dan wouldn't go that far, he had liked it, but he hated himself after. It made him feel dirty, and cheap, cause that dude, just like his friends and his parents didn't really care about him at all. 

But a month later, he was at a party, and he was drunk and he was having a bad time. All his friends had spent the evening ignoring him, and then they had splintered off with girls. He went out to the porch, and sat there with his bottle, and then he remembered the club, and the guy, and before he given it any real thought he had gotten on a bus. This time he had already had enough to drink, he headed straight to the dance floor. He danced with his head feeling heavy, and his eyes half opened, and his body doing whatever it wanted, with whoever it wanted. At first he just bounced between partners, loving the feeling of being groped by strangers but then a boy found him. He was one of the youngest people Dan had ever seen at the club, maybe sixteen, maybe. He was blonde, and just as thin as Dan, with a very nice smile. He was also very very high. They danced, till their bodies got closer and closer, and then Dan found his hands going underneath the boy's shirt, and he boy's lips sucking at his neck. They went into the bathroom together and Dan was pressed against a stall door, moaning and writhing as he got fucked.

Afterwards he kissed Dan hard on the lips. "You at college?" he said his speech a little slurred. 

Dan nodded. 

"Yeah, me too," the boy smiled, and touched his hand. They went back to dancing afterwards, and that was nice, but then the boy's friends showed up. They were a very excitable and loud group of guys who ogled Dan and managed to make him feel uncomfortable right away. After a while the blonde boy whispered in his ear:  
"We're all going back to Matt's, you know, he's got his own place, you into group sex?"

Dan shook his head fervently. 

"That's too bad," said the boy. 

And then he was gone, and just like the first guy he didn't so much as say goodbye, or thank you, or it was nice. Dan made his way home, feeling sick from all the alcohol, but he managed not to cry until he was in his own bed, with the lights off. The next morning as he fought off a headache, he realized that even if he didn't find anyone who would love him, or even like him, he wanted to keep going to the club cause the sex alone was worth it. And that's how it was for a long time. 

He spent almost a year in and out of clubs. He got fucked in alley ways, and cars, bathrooms, and back rooms, and few times even on a bed. His partners were gorgeous teenagers, and drooling thirty years-olds, they were Asian, and black, and blonde. Some of them were good at dancing, some of them were good at fucking, Dan found no correlation between the two. Some of them were nice, and funny, and hugged him after, most just gave him rude compliments, and then walked straight out his life. A few times he met the same guys, but mostly he liked strangers, and it sure as hell seemed that strangers like him. 

At school he grew more and more distance from his old friends. He went just for his education, and his teacher and kept his head down. His classmates still bothered him about the way he talked, and his perceived homosexuality, but now they also said that he looked like a zombie because of the bags under his eyes and that he was a loser because he never went to any of their parties. Dan tried to act like he didn't care, but it hurt at a lot. 

At home his parents had zero idea of what he got up to every weekend. They just figured that he was doing normal teen things with his friend. They didn't seem to notice that his friends didn't ever come over anymore, or that they'd stopped calling. Dan was a little hurt by that too. But then things were going okay. He liked having sex, and dancing and drinking, and meeting new people even when they had no real interest in him. He didn't cry anymore, and he didn't feel badly, this was natural, this was what his body wanted, and it made him happy, if only temporarily. 

So it was just another Saturday night, and he was in a much nicer club, sitting leisurely at the bar, waiting for the first dude to buy him a drink, like he had dozens of times before. And it shouldn't have been any different, only it was. Dan spotted him across the room, because of his pale skin, and his strange eyes. They were blue, and grey, and yellow, flickering differently as the lights flooded his face. Dan didn't have a type, but he definitely like this guy, so he smiled at him and that was all the encouragement the stranger needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I began writing this in 2016 and totally forgot about it until recently. Now it's done, and I should be publishing it fairly regularly since it's all written.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

The stranger was tall, and lean with terrible posture. He might be any age between eighteen and twenty-three, but no older. Dan smiled as he took a seat by his side. "What do you drink?" he asked.

"Anything with whiskey," Dan said. 

The pale boy got the bartender's attention and ordered two Irish redheads. Dan smiled, his accent was nice. "Where are you from?" he asked. 

"Lancashire."

"Are you here for school?"

"Yeah, studying theater."

Dan felt his heart speed up. "Are you an actor?"

"Nah, I'm more interested in filming and stuff."

"Oh," he blushed, of course, there were more to movies than just acting. When he looked up the stranger was smiling. 

"You're really cute."

"Thanks," Dan said it awkwardly, he had never really learned how to take compliments even when they were nice ones, and not just about his ass. 

Their drinks arrived, the guy sipped his, while Dan downed it in one because that's usually what his kind of people did. He coughed loudly, and he felt his face redden as he watched the stranger take another pert little drink. "You do like your whisky."

"Yeah..." said Dan, looking at the ground.   
"Want another?"

"Yes," said Dan because he never refused a drink. 

The bartender was summoned again, but suddenly Dan wondered if he was abusing this good looking guy. Students didn't have much money, and he obviously used to people that drank in moderation and didn't act like crazed frat boys. "Do you come here a lot?" the guy asked. 

"Sometimes," Dan said, he went to gay clubs a lot, but he went to quite a few different ones. "You?"

"Nah, I don't usually, I-" he looked down at his drink and took a long gulp, almost finishing it. "I just went through a break-up to be honest."

"Oh," said Dan. Did this guy actually wanna talk? That almost never happened. His drink arrived, and this time he took it daintily in his hand and took a little drink. It was really quite good, he hadn't even appreciated that the first time. "Were you together long?"

The stranger shrugged. "About six months, but I really liked her."

Dan's eyes flashed, and he almost dropped his drink. Did he mishear, or did had the guy said his ex was a girl. "You date women?" 

The guy shrugged. "Sorry I shouldn't have mentioned it, I like guys a lot too, I don't know what I'm talking about." He smiled and finished his drink. "I gotta ask you something though before we dance or anything."

"Yeah?" said Dan feeling nervous all of a sudden. 

"How old are you?"

Dan felt relief, he was used to this question. "Seventeen," he said automatically, although that was a fat lie it would be four more months until he was sixteen.. "You?"  
The stranger was looking at the empty glass in his hand. "I'm twenty."

"That's young," said Dan. 

"Well, yeah but I don't really think-"

"Hey," Dan cut him off, he had gone through this once or twice before, but usually no one even bothered to ask much less verify. "It's above the age of consent, and I'm no virgin, trust me," he leaned forward and put his hand on the guy's thigh. He was looking at him with those eyes, now a clear blue, and all Dan could think of was how beautiful he was and how much he wanted him. He leaned forward and kissed him, instantly feeling the guy's hand touch his waist. It was nice, the physical closeness between them. 

Dan pulled back and finished his drink with a smile on his face, then they went to the dance floor. The guy was no dancer, he was too tall, and too awkward, and he had absolutely no sense of rhythm, but he looked at Dan like he had never seen anyone hotter and that made up for it. Dan for his part was having a lot of fun, this guy was different to most, who would be probably be having him already. He was cute, and taking things slow, and there was something really endearing about that. 

But of course that only made him more fun to tease. The first times he came to the club he danced like there was a spotlight on him and nothing but judgemental eyes. Now, he had learned to relax, and not care, and do whatever felt good. He tried grinding on him, but every time he would try to pull Dan closer he would move a away again, smirking. Finally, the guy tugged him hard by the wrist and effectively closing every gab between them. Dan went on his tiptoes and kissed him, as little diamonds of light danced across their skin like a kaleidoscope vision. It was a great feeling. The music. The heat. His body lean and soft beneath Dan's hands, as he ran them up his arms, and shoulders. He was a really good kisser too, and every part of him wanted this to go further.

He pulled back, breathless. "Do you, do you want to head somewhere?" he said, blushing wildly. He had never asked anyone that before. They always took the lead.   
The guy looked surprised. "Yeah, I actually live close by."

"Great!" said Dan, grabbing his hand and leading him through the crowd of people towards the door. Wow, he was going to have sex on a bed. He liked sex on a bed, in his limited experience it lasted longer, and he could be loud as he wanted which wasn't always possible when you were getting fucked in a bathroom stall.   
When they reached the cold, fresh air, of the dark street Dan stopped, realizing he had no idea where they were going. "You said you live...."

"It's like a ten-minute walk this way," he said nudging down the street. "But its student housing, not very nice."

Dan felt like his face was burning. Was something going to happen or not? "Are we?" he couldn't even get the full sentence out, he just reached out and touched the guy's hip, probably looking like the desperately little puppy he was. 

"Yeah, I mean, I really want to," the boy blushed, and it definitely suited him. "I just, mmm, do you...."

Dan thought that he had been very obvious but apparently this guy couldn't take a hint, so he moved closer to him, and feeling like all the heat in the world was concentrated on his face he said. "Yes, please, like really really badly, I," he could feel his cock pressing against the top of his skinny jeans, almost hurting. Dan never said dirty things, he didn't need to, guys could usually just tell by looking at him, but this time he found the perverted thoughts he had had while dancing coming out of his mouth. "I really want to get fucked, like," he reached forward and grabbed Phil's hand guiding it to his cock. "I really need you to." His whole face was red as a beet, and he instantly wished that he was much drunker. 

The boy stared at him, his face not changing in the slightest, but his hands graced softly at the bulge in his pants until Dan gave out a whimper. The boy swayed forward and kissed his lips again, before grabbing his hand and moving quickly down the street. Dan followed feeling the wind in his hair as they walked quicker and quicker down two blocks. The apartment building was an old brick one, with a white door, the guy fumbled for his keys in his coat, and just as he found him he told Dan. "Try not to make a sound, the landlady is really fierce."

Dan internally groaned, he liked being loud. 

Inside there was a little ugly white space, with stairs leading up and door to either side. the guy climbed the stairs, leading him up to the second floor. There was only one door and he opened it quickly and locked it behind them. They were in a dark living room/dining room, with a big TV, several gaming counsels, and lots of books and movies scattered around. It wasn't a very neat place, there were sweaters and teacups everywhere. "I have a roommate," he said, "But he's a really deep sleeper." He grabbed Dan's hand again and led him through a narrow hallway, and to the last door. 

The room was small, with a single window, and a large unmade bed with a blue and green comforter. There was a poster of Buffy the vampire slayer on one wall, and one of all the muse albums on the other. "I should have cleaned up," said the guy as he began trying to shove a pile of dirty laundry under the bed, but of course that was the last thing on Dan's mind. 

"I don't care," he said as he threw off his jacket.


	3. Chapter 3

As awkward as the guy danced, and as awkward as Dan talked, it was amazing how smoothly everything went after that. He was an amazing kisser, and his hands, pale and smooth felt incredible as they crept up his shirt, caressing his skin, and undoing his buttons at the same time. Dan was enjoying the luxury of having a bed underneath him for a change, and feeling his mouth around his neck made him moan with anticipation. But things went slower than he was used to. Usually, there was kissing and then stretching, before blowjobs, or a quick fuck. But this guy undressed him fully before even touching him, his hands traveling down leisurely to his legs, and making every inch of skin feel like it was on fire. 

After a few minutes Dan couldn’t take it anymore, everything felt too good not to be touched and he wrapped his own hand around his cock. The guy noticed and at once stopped kissing him. “Don’t do that,” he said casually pulling at Dan’s wrist. The gesture wasn’t hard but Dan obeyed, although he didn’t know why. "Turn around.“ Feeling his face burning Dan did as he was told, hyperconscious of the fact that he was letting this stranger take control. He lay on his stomach, his heart beating fast. Hookups, after all, were always dangerous things. Especially when they were with strangers. And even if this guy was cute, and had so far been nothing but gentle, this made him really nervous. Why was he trusting a stranger?

He felt the guys hands on his shoulder and relaxed a little as they moved down his back, till they touched his ass, squeezing the skin lightly and making him groan. "Part your legs,” it was almost a whisper, but Dan did it, feeling himself quake. Who was this guy?

For what seemed like an eternity nothing happened. He just lay there feeling completely exposed, his heart beating out of his chest, almost as scared as he was excited. And then he felt the guy’s hand gripping his legs, and his lips, soft and warm, kiss the inside of his tights. Dan moaned into the pillow, the sound muffled. It was amazing how something so simple could feel so good. He arched his back, as the guy’s hand moved gently up and down his legs, while his mouth continued trailing kisses. Then the guy’s grip got a little harder and he pushed Dan’s leg’s further apart, Dan breathe hitches as he got the first inkling of what was about to happen. First, he felt the guy’s warm breath against him, and then he felt his tongue circle his rim. Involuntarily, Dan gave a wild buckle. No one had ever done that to him before.

“Is that okay?” said the guy. 

“Yes,” Dan managed to say, desperately wanting that sensation to continue. 

The guy’s tongue touched him again, it was warm and strange and so good, how could anything feel so good? Dan bit his lips, as the guy continued licking him softly, rhythmically, his hands simultaneously moving up and down his tights. Dan was moaning shameless, his eyes shut, utterly lost in himself, his fears forgotten, everything forgotten, and he wasn’t even drunk. How had he never experienced this? He had no idea how long that went on for, all that he was knew was that he was shamefully happy when the guy gently pushed a finger in. The action was done so smoothly that Dan had barely taken note of it, but it caused him to let out a whimper. The guy chucked, but not in a mean way. “You’re early sensitive, I love it.” Dan felt him bite lightly into his thigh and had to stop himself from moaning again. 

Dan grinded encouragingly against his finger until he pushed a second one in, and then a third, slowly scissoring him. Dan moaned every time, and didn’t care at all about how it sounded or what the guy thought. It just felt too good. 

“You think you’re ready?” he asked after a minute. 

“Yeah, please,” Dan whined. 

The fingers vanished, and the guy opened up a drawer in his nightstand. Up until then, he hadn’t taken his boxers off but now that he did Dan saw that he was a pretty big guy, probably eight inches, and just as hard as Dan. He bit his lip as he stared at him, wondering what lottery he had won. A bed, a good shag, and on top of that he was huge. He ripped open a condom packet and put it on quickly before lathering himself with lube, and putting extra on his fingers. He rubbed them against Dan’s entrance.

“Can you go on your knees,” he said, squeezing Dan’s ass as he positioned himself on the bed. 

Dan nodded and quickly got on all fours, every part of him needing this like he had never needed anything in his life. No one had ever worked him up like this, or given him so much pleasure, he could scarcely breathe and it hadn’t even started yet. The guy put his hands on Dan’s hips, tilting them a little as he rubbed his head against his opening before sliding in. Dan gave a long moan as he adjusting not only to the length but the girth of this guy which was a hell of a lot more than three fingers. But the discomfort passed quickly, replaced by a kind of pleasure that he had never even known existed. "Please,“ he said shuffling his hips a little. 

The guy took that hint and began at once to thrust in and out of him. His rhythm was steady, not fast, but not exactly slow either, he was building up, moving around him searching for the one spot that would make him scream. He knew he found he found it when Dan’s whole body shook and he dropped his head onto the pillow. The guy smiled and began thrusting harder, hitting Dan’s prostate, while his hand moved to pump at his cock. Dan had never experienced anything like it, he was face down on a pillow, scarcely able to breathe, and everything felt so good, and before he knew it he was cumming all over the sheets, and his stomach and the guy’s beautiful hand. 

As he came down for the greatest orgasm he had ever had the guy began speeding up and hitting a different angle, he was moaning now too, and Dan tightened himself so that it would feel better. He last a couple of minutes longer before cumming inside of him, and moaning, his breathing ragged. He collapsed next to Dan, his pale face red and flushed, his eyes closed. Dan stared at him like he was a movie star or a god, no one had ever made him feel like that. He kept on staring at him until the guy’s eyes open. "Was that good? It’s been a while since I’ve been with a guy.”

“Yeah it was really, really, really, good, I-” he stumbled over a few more words, feeling his whole face burn. He had moaned a lot, and rather loudly. There was no way the roommate hadn’t woken up. 

“I’m glad you liked it,” he smiled and moved his hands to Dan’s cheek. "You’re really gorgeous you know.“

The guy sounded so sincere and sweet it made Dan ache for a moment. People often complimented him after fucking, but that was never what they said. They told him that he was tight, or that he had a great ass, or that he moaned like a girl, and they meant it to sound good, but it didn’t make him feel good. This did. And then without really understanding why Dan felt like he wanted to cry. He bit his lip hard to repress the feeling, something he learned worked well. 

"Did I say something wrong,” the guy whispered. 

“No,” said Dan. He shifted on the bed, and suddenly felt the exhausting that had overtaken his whole body. He was not looking forward to the bus ride home. Even the thought of standing up felt difficult. He groaned a little as he sat up. 

“Are you leaving?” something in this guy’s voice made it sound like he didn’t want him to. 

Dan stared at him. "Mmm, well….“ he had never ever spent the night with his hookups. He remembers the first time he had been invited into a bed, it had been nice, but afterward, when they lay in bed next to each other the guy had asked if he had enough money to get home and if he knew where the bus station was. He was not subtle. After that, he learned his lesson. Beds were more comfortable but they didn’t mean things were different. "C-can I stay?” Dan whispered the words uncertainly. 

“Yeah, of course, it’s like 3 AM,” said the guy staring at him like he was crazy. "Or,“ he stopped. "Will your parents get angry or something?”

“No,” said Dan because it was the truth. "They won’t notice.“

The guy didn’t say anything but grabbed Dan’s hand. "Then stay, I’ll make pancakes in the morning.” He said it like it was a normal thing and then he closed his eyes. Dan lay in the stranger’s bed for a few minutes, watching him as he fell asleep effortlessly. He wasn’t sure if this was the best night of his life or just the strangers, but it felt good. He lay down next to him, feeling the warmth of his naked body just an inch away and closed his eyes. It took him a while to go to sleep, but when he did he had beautiful dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously writing smut is not my forte but tbh it's my favorite phanfic category so i just couldn't resist. thanks to anyone that read it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Dan was rudely woken up by his phone. He grumbled and turned his head, burying it more deeply in the comfort of the pillow. He shut his eyes hard, as if that would stop the ringing, and tried to go back to sleep. He had almost achieved it, when he had a sudden start and sat up, grabbing his phone. 

"Dan," it was his mum. 

"Yeah?" he said his grogginess evaporating into panic. 

"Where are you?"

"I'm at Steve's, I told you."

"No, you didn't."

"Yeah mum, I told you," he turned his head around and saw the guy from last night staring up at him with those beautiful eyes. He blushed and turned back to the Buffy poster on the wall. "I told you Thursday night, we were up playing video games till like four."

"You didn't tell me," her tone was firm. 

"You just don't listen," Dan insisted. 

There was an indignant sigh on the other end. "But you're okay right? And you're coming home soon?"

"Yeah, I'll be home in a couple of hours."

"Alright," she said the word like it was a compromise and Dan hung up. He turned around. Thank god, the guy was still as good looking as yesterday, with his jet black hair and porcelain skin. Dan gave him a nervous smile; he had never had a morning-after before. "Sorry if that woke you." He was also suddenly aware that he was naked, and had thrown all the sheets off of himself. 

"That's okay, is everything alight?"

"Yeah," said Dan with a nod. He looked back at his clothes on the floor. The truth was he was in no hurry to be home, and the guy had mentioned something about pancakes the night before, but he didn't want to be a bother. He was about to try to discretely grab his underwear when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. 

"Stay in bed, I'm going to make food."

The guy got out of bed and walked across to the closet. Dan marveled at how perfect his skin looked, and found himself blushing again, as he grabbed the blankets and covered himself up a little, embarrassed by the fact that like every morning he had a hard-on. The guy put on a T-shirt and sweat pants and then proceeded to go out of the room. Now alone, Dan looked around the room again. It was really weird to be in a stranger’s room. He looked over the books, and the stuff on the nightstand, which he couldn't help noticing included lipstick. After a couple of minutes he got up and peered into an open drawer in the closet, it contained folded t-shirts and bundles of mitch-match socks. 

Outside the room, he heard muffled talking, and quickly began putting on his clothes again. Afterwards, he went to the mirror and cursed as he stared at his ruffled, puffy hair. Yesterday, it had been so nice and straight. He tried running his fingers through it and flattening it a little but the action just seemed to infuriate it. He moved towards the door as the voices spoke up again. One of them must be the roommate. He groaned, surely this would be awkward enough just with the two of them, he didn’t even know the guy’s name. It almost made him want to stay in bed, but his need to go to the bathroom was overwhelming, so he grudgingly opened the door. 

At once, the roommate who was sitting at the dining table turned around and smiled at him: "Good Morning."

Dan blushed. He was a rather good looking guy, nearly as pale as his guy, but with green eyes, and a more prominent jaw. "Hello."

"I'm PJ, and you are?"

Dan stared from PJ to the club guy, who was wearing an apron, and holding a mixing bowl. "Dan," he said. It wasn't often that he exchanged names with his partners.   
"That's nice,-" PJ pointed to his roommate. "He's Phil by the way."

"Oh," Dan muttered, trying to find a non-awkward way to ask where the bathroom was. 

Just then Phil smiled at him. "Don't let PJ make you uncomfortable, he's just jealous. You like pancakes right?" he spoke as he continued to mix, and Dan just loved the softness in his voice. 

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Mmm, where's your bathroom," he said. PJ indicated the door to his right, and Dan excused himself. After peeing, he washed his hands and face and stood in front of the mirror, feeling like somehow this morning was a kind of interview. Phil. His name is Phil. It was a good name and it suited him. Dan wiped his hands on his skinny jeans and walked out to find Phil pouring batter onto the frying pan. PJ was drinking coffee, and gestured for Dan to take a seat by his side. 

"Want Coffee, Tea?"

"Coffee's good."

Phil poured him a cup, and when he handed it over their fingers brushed against each other. Considering all they had done last night it shouldn't exited Dan, but it did. There was something really nice about touching him, even just his hand. Dan held the cup and took a little drink. 

"So, I hear you met in a Club? Isn't Phil just the worst dancer," said PJ.

Dan laughed without meaning to. "Not the worst surely, but he's better at other things," as soon as he realized the implications of what he had just said Dan felt his whole face turn red again, and quickly took another drink of coffee before he could make it any worse. 

PJ laughed. "Well, I don't know anything about that."

"Don't bother him," said Phil playfully as he flipped the first pancake. "Why don't you just go to work?"

"I have to finish my cup first," he said taking another leisurely drink of coffee, before looking back at Dan. "So, you only go for dudes, or are you a degenerate like Phil here," he said in a teasing tone. 

"Mmm," Dan had no idea what to answer. He had never in his life told anyone his sexual orientation. 

"PJ what kind of question is that?" said Phil as he began pouring the batter for another pancake. 

"Just trying to get you guys to know each other a little! I mean you didn't even know one another's names before me," he said. "But that's just fine, I can tell I'm intruding," he drank the rest of his coffee and got up. In the messy Livingroom he grabbed a book bag and a coat and went to the door. 

"Bye," Phil called. 

"Bye," his eyes flickered to Dan. "See you sometimes."

The door closed again, and all at once Dan's heart sped up, cause now they were alone and anything could happen. "Sorry about him," said Phil as he took out the second pancake. "He means well, he's just a bit strange."

"He's nice," said Dan, who sincerely wished he had a friend as open and friendly at PJ seemed. "Do you need help with anything?"

"You can set the table," Phil said as he poured more battered. 

With Phil's direction, Dan grabbed plates and napkins, and utensils, setting it up around the table and moving the books off. When they finished and sat down, it felt pretty fancy, and the pancakes looked and smelled amazing. "This is really good, thanks," said Dan as he took his first bite. 

"No problem, you're an excuse to cook really," said Phil. "I'm too lazy to cook for myself, and PJ's doesn't eat breakfast."

Dan tried to look cute while he ate, but he was really hungry so he ended up shoveling the food down faster than he probably should have. As they ate there was general silence, and Dan began feeling awkward. Was this what morning-afters were always like? Did this guy have them often? Did the fact that he had made such a nice meal mean that he wanted to see him again? Or was he just being polite? 

Finally, after finishing his second pancake Dan thought of something to say, "Who's your favorite Buffy character?"

At this Phil's whole face seemed to light up. "Buffy, of course, she's gorgeous and brilliant, I've been like madly in love with her since the show first came out."

"She's pretty cool," said Dan.

"Have you watched it?"

"Yeah, that's what I spent all last summer doing when everyone else was going to parties, or on holiday," he only realized how pathetic that sounded after he had finished saying it.   
"Well, who do you like?"

"Spike, even with that accent," said Dan. 

Phil laughed. "I liked him too, but she's better off with Angel."

"Debatable, I think things were good with her and Riley before she got weird about it."

"What?" Phil looked almost offended.

Dan laughed. "Well I mean, he's human, they're going to age the same. He's not old, he's not dead. It just works."

"You're crazy."

"You want her to be with an obsessed stalker, who's more than a hundred years older than her, but I'm the crazy one?"

Phil rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "I don't think I have ever heard someone say they think she should end up with Riley."

"That's cause people like impossible loves," Dan said as he took another bite of pancake. "That's why the whole Twilight things happened." 

"I guess, but personally I still think she belongs with Angel."

Dan shrugged. "Do you watch Angel the show?"

"Yeah, I watched it once through, not really worth more than that. Buffy I watch all the time though; I think I've seen the whole thing like fifteen times at least."

"Wow," said Dan. He smiled as he took the last bite of his food, it was surprisingly easy to talk to this guy, and much more comfortable that he would have anticipated. "Have a favorite episode?"

"Too many to name," said Phi. "But I like the funny ones, you know like that one is Season 6 when they all forgot who they are, or the one where there's the Halloween party and Anya comes dressed as a Bunny cause she thinks they're scary. Plus the musical one, cause that's just like the best episode of TV ever."

"Yeah that one was really good, even if some of them couldn't sing that well." Dan looked over at the collection of movies and shows, and saw all of the box sets for Buffy. "You are a super fanboy."

"Definitely, what's your favorite show?"

"Probably Lost," said Dan.

At that Phil's eyes lit up. "You're kidding!"

"Nope."

"That is my second favorite show. I'm like obsessed with it, even if the finale was shit."

Dan laughed. "Well I agree with you there," he looked back at the movies and found that just below Buffy was all the Lost DVD's. "Wow, you really spend a lot of money on entertainment," he noted, his eyes flickering to the consoles. 

"Yeah, I'm obsessed."

"Do you actually-" Dan stopped, suddenly realizing how stupid what he was about to say would sound. Phil was just a guy he had hooked up with. Yes, he happened to be gorgeous, and sweet, and a first rate pancake maker, but that didn't mean that he actually liked Dan. He didn't want Dan to stay and bug him, it was a Saturday he probably had plenty of things to do, it was only Dan who was going back to an empty room and a boring life. "Sorry."

"No, what were you going to say?"

"Nothing, really," said Dan with a smile. 

Phil frowned but didn't push it. They brought the plates to the sink and Phil rinsed them quickly before putting them in the dishwasher. Dan stared at his shoes, wondering if he should excuse himself now, or wait for Phil to finish. How did other people do this? Phil dried his hands on a towel with Pikachu's face on it and turned to Dan. "Last night was really nice," he took hold of Dan's hand. "I was in a really lousy mood before, but today feels different," he smiled. 

Dan smiled back, but that feeling like he wanted to cry which had surfaced the night before returned just as strangely. Maybe this guy was too nice? He certainly wasn't used to that. "Yeah last night was amazing, I'd never-" he was blushing again, why was he always blushing. Phil intertwined their fingers and gave him a light kiss on the lips, it shouldn't have been anything to Dan, but suddenly it was like he could barely breathe. 

"This might sound weird," Phil said. "But I don't have much planned today. I mean I don't know if you have stuff to do, or if you just wanna go home, but we can hang out if you want, watch Buffy or something," he smiled. "Or I can give you a ride home PJ has a car."

It was difficult to find the words because the feeling of wanting to cry was getting stronger, but as he looked at Phil he got the notion that somehow he understood him. "I'd really like to hang out, I just have to make a call."

"Okay," Phil said, pressing on his hand slightly before releasing it and going over to sit on the squashy black sofa. Dan crossed the room and pulled out his cellphone. When he dialed home no one answered, so he texted his mom. 

DAN: Hey, we're headed to breakfast and then we're going to a shopping center. I'll be home later. 

He put his phone back into his pocket and joined Phil on the couch. "So, you wanna watch Buffy?"

"Yeah, or we could do anything really."

Dan knew exactly what he wanted to do but swished the thought out of his mind. Phil had said hang out, he had mentioned TV, not everyone was as horrifically perverted as he obviously was. He focused on the mass of DVD's and video games in front of him and then saw Sonic 4. "Maybe we could play a game?" he said. 

"Yeah sure, which one?"

Dan picked it up and put it the PlayStation 3. They were quiet as the game started up but Dan felt more comfortable. When the levels started it got fun really quickly, as they took turns, dying and succeeding. Dan was obviously the better player, but Phil looked so cute when he got flustered that it didn't really matter. After about an hour and many failed attempts at a particularly hard level, his phone rang. 

"Where are you?" It was his dad and he sounded angry. 

"I texted mum I'm with-"

"Come home now Dan."

"Come on its barely noon, I'll-"

"This is not a discussion, come home, you should have come yesterday."

"Whatever," Dan hung up the phone feeling like he was five years old again. 

"Guess that's to be expected," said Phil. "Do you want a ride?"

Dan shook his head. He felt irrationally angry. What was the point of going home anyway? It wasn't like he was going to spend time with his family or anything, he would be shut up in his room like always, feeling miserable. He looked at Phil, and felt like he should say something but the words wouldn't come. 

"Are you sure you don't want a ride?"

God. Why was this guy so nice? It made it harder. "I don't want them to ask questions," said Dan. 

Phil hesitated for a moment and then said quietly. "Are you out?"

Instead of answering he got up. "Well, thanks for the pancakes."

"Okay," Phil smiled at him, as he got up, and then he hugged him for a long time. Dan felt stiff and awkward at first but then it was just warm and nice and he had his head against Phi's shoulder, and there was something very comforting about that. After they pulled apart Phil walked him to the door. "If you ever wanna hang out or hook up, or anything, this is my number," he said giving Dan a little slip of paper. "And my Skype name, cause I'm there a lot."

"Thanks," said Dan cause he couldn't think of anything to say. 

Phil smiled, and then he turned around and walked out of the door, wishing that he had the guts to give him a goodbye kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Dan was not happy. He wasn't happy when he got home to an argument with his parents and he wasn't happy when he was forced to sit in the Livingroom and watch TV with his brother. He wasn't happy either when he ate dinner or went to his bedroom when he sat on his laptop till well past midnight. In fact, Dan couldn't remember the last time he had really been happy at home. In clubs he was happy, but of course he was usually drunk and horny. In fact as he thought about his time with Phil it got stranger. He had been happy, and comfortable, even though he wasn't drunk. That didn't happen often. And as much as he loved the sex, the morning after had been pretty nice too.  


He loafed around his room on Sunday, wondering if he should text Phil, or wait a bit so that he didn't seem so desperate. He lasted till about two in the afternoon and then he caved.

DAN: Hey, it's Dan, just wanted to give you my number :)

The response came within a few minutes. 

PHIL: I'm glad you did! Were you parents okay yesterday?

DAN: Yeah, it wasn't too bad, I'm used to it. 

PHIL: I forget what that’s like. 

DAN: Can't wait till I'm twenty. 

He typed that without thinking and then wished he had said something more interesting. He waited a while for the next response, checking his phone every few seconds.  
PHIL: What are you up to today?

DAN: Not much.....

In the normal run of things Dan would be sleeping so that he could spend his night at a Club but his parents weren't letting him go tonight. 

PHIL: Me neither actually...

DAN: Yeah?

PHIL: Wanna grab coffee or something?

DAN: Yes.

He practically jumped out of bed and went for a shower. He dressed carefully and spent a long time straightening his hair. As he was leaving the house to meet Phil at Starbucks his parents reminded him that he had to be home by nine. He shrugged it off. They were meeting at one close to Phil's apartment and when Dan walked in he spotted Phil right away. He was sitting a table on the side, with his phone in his hands. 

"Hello," said Dan. Phil stood up as he saw him. 

"Hey," they hugged. For some reason it was hard to believe he had known him for less than two days. There was something really familiar and nice about seeing him. They got caramel macchiatos and sat down again, Dan drank the delicious sugary drink while he tried to think of stuff to say. 

"Are you doing A-levels?"

"Yes," Dan lied, because he hadn't yet finished his GCSE's, and before Phil asked what he was studying he quickly changed the subject. "How long have you and PJ been living together?"

"About two years, since I came to the city. We met online."

Dan nearly chocked. "You met online?"

"Yeah, we met in a forum and just started talking."

That seemed like the coolest most impossible thing Dan had ever heard. It was amazing that people could make friends like that, not only across the country but across the world. Phil talked about his school, and also the YouTube channel that he had started the previous year. He seemed very excited about it and said that it was a fun project to work on because it was more freeing than the stuff he had to do for class. 

After they finished their drinks, they went for a walk back to Phil's apartment. It was nice, chilly weather, and they held hands as they walked down the street. Phil was telling him about the short horror movies that he had made as a kid when Dan realized that he had never done anything 'gay' in the light of day before. Here he was, casually walking around London holding another guys hand, as if it was no different than holding a girl's. He smiled, it was good to have that feeling and in a city of millions there was little risk to it. 

"Is PJ home?" Dan asked, as they climbed up the stairs to the apartment. 

"No, I think he's with his girlfriend."

Dan felt instantaneous relief, it wasn't that he didn't like PJ, it's just that he liked Phil, probably too much. Ever since he had seen him there at Starbucks there had been one recurring thought in his mind: I have to have sex with him again. The problem that Dan wasn't nearly as uninhibited as he usually was, after all he hadn't had a drink all day. Besides Phil made it harder, he was just so pleasant and funny, maybe all he wanted was for Dan to be his friend. 

They walked into the living room, and Phil took his coat. "What do you feel like doing? Can I get you anything?"

"Um," Dan could have told him exactly what he wanted to do, but he just couldn't find the courage. "Maybe play something again?"

Phil smiled, like that was exactly what he wanted to hear. "Cool, choose anything, I'm going to make tea."

Dan sat on the sofa in front of the TV, and looked over the dozens of games before quickly grabbing Mario Kart from the shelf. Phil came back after a few minutes with two cups of tea, and a little plate with biscuits. "In case you're hungry," he said as he put it down on the table. Dan smiled, this guy was totally precious. They started playing and although it was one of Dan's favorite games and he was uncommonly good at it, he kept loosing, Phil was distracting him too much.

He looked really good, and he smelled even better, and the thought that all he had to was lean over a little and suddenly they would be touching was tantalizing. He talked a lot while they played too, telling more about his YouTube channel, and funny things he had done with PJ. Finally after the six course, when Dan lost again, Phil stared at him. "Are you alright? You haven't really said much?"

Dan stared into his eyes, eyes that were blue, and deep, and so beautiful, and shockingly he couldn't think of anything to say. How did people ever have sex when they were sober? "I'm fine," he managed to squeak out. 

"Really?" Phil cocked his head to the side, and somehow he looked even better. 

"You're really pretty," said Dan, clearly unable to control himself. 

Phil chuckled, and ran his hand through his fringe. "You're much prettier, I'm lucky you ever even slept with me."

"No," said Dan emphatically. "No, I-" he hesitated, was this the moment to say that he wanted to have sex again, or was this like a cute moment where he tried to kiss him. He shuffled on the sofa and looked back at the TV. 

"Dan," said Phil quietly as he watched him. "You haven't dated much, have you?"

Dan thought back through all his experiences at all his Clubs and Bars. None of that could qualify as dating. He had never even grabbed coffee with a guy before, much less sat on their couch playing video games. But that wasn't the kind of thing that you could just say to someone. "I've been with lots of people," he said, his eyes still on the screen. 

"That's not what I asked."

He bit his lip, and it wasn't because he wanted to cry, it was because he wanted to run. Why? Phil wasn't being rude, or pushy, it was just a question. Why couldn't he be honest? "Maybe we should just play another level," he suggested, but Phil had put his controller down. 

"We can play more, that's fine with me, but is that what you want to do?"

Dan turned pink in the face and suddenly remembered their previous night together when he had stood in the street outside the club and showed Phil just how much he wanted him. Phil cleared his throat, and his hand touched Dan lightly on the forearm. "What do you want to do?"

If he had had even one shot Dan would have just got up, sat on Phil and began kissing him like there was no tomorrow, but without his liquid courage all he could really do was maintain eye contact and feel as his whole face turned red. He wanted that mouth on his body again, wanted to feel his hand, soft and hard at the same time and in a wonderful combination. He licked his lips, his heart beating out of his chest. I have to do something, I have to. Slowly, he leaned towards Phil and kissed him on the lips. It was meant to be soft, kind of like a peck, but soon enough Dan lost control of himself. His hands began moving all over Phil's body, and he stretched out from his side of the sofa, practically laying on top of him. Phil moaned, his hands moving swiftly to feel Dan's ass over his skinny jeans. 

Dan shed their clothes in a hurry, his hands running over Phil's pale chest and the soft skin of his collarbone. He stripped his own shirt off, and threw it on the floor, thinking feverishly of how good everything had felt the time before. As they continued to kiss, he felt Phil's hands unbuckling his pants, and gratefully moved out of them, feeling like all was right in the world. He was lying naked on top of him, his mouth moving hungrily through the pale boy's neck, while Phil's hand wrapped around his cock. Dan groaned, and arched his back, grateful for the contact after what felt like hours of build-up. 

Underneath him, he felt Phil smile. "Always so needy," he muttered into Dan's ear as he flicked his tongue over his earlobe. 

Dan gave out a pathetic little moan but didn't care to argue as Phil began moving his hand up and down. He let that go on as he trailed kisses down from Phil's neck to his shoulders, and chest, until he was just where he wanted to be. Phil let go of his cock as Dan began sliding the older guy's pants down, his boxers coming along with them. It wasn't just that his cock was big, it was beautiful, thick and smooth, and pink in color. Dan licked his lips eagerly before leaning down and kissing the head. 

Phil gave a stiff little moan, which caused Dan to smile, before swirling his tongue against his slit. Phil felt warm and salty against him, and when he unexpectedly took his whole cock in his mouth Phil's breath hitched, and he tilted his hips for better access. Dan sucked and licked, bobbing up and down, as Phil's ran through his hair, pulling at it gently. After a couples minutes of this, Phil's hand slid down to his shoulder, and he shoved Dan back softly. "If you keep doing that, we won't get to the good part." He moved his hands lowered, caressing Dan's sides, and hips with his long warm fingers. 

A smile overcame Dan. He had never had sex like this before. Usually it was so rushed and heated, and frankly dirty. This felt different, loving almost, and better, much better. Phil used his hands to guide Dan to lay down on top of him, kissing him hard as their lips met. He moved so smoothly, so naturally, and he smelled really good, but Dan was flushed, and hard, and tired of waiting. He grinded against him, as the boy's hands moved slowly up and down his thighs. 

It was torturous. Just lying there naked, and top of him, and feeling those warm hands move all over his body as they kissed. He could feel his want, his need, his desperation increasing with every second, but Phil did not move and did not allow him to move either, pinning him with strategically placed limbs. Dan was moaning again, just as loud as the first night, arching his back a little, begging Phil's fingers or his beautiful cock to go where he needed them to be. "Please," he said in between kissed, his face red and his eyes shut. 

Phil's mouth stopped moving and he pulled back a little. "Please what?"

Dan's eyes opened and he shuddered for a response, precum dripping from his cock onto Phil's hip. 

"Come on. Tell me what you want."

For a moment Dan bit his lip. He was too sober to say what he really wanted. It was too embarrassing. But then Phil squeezed his ass, and Dan made a sound that was dangerously close to a whimper. 

"What do you want?" Phil whispered. 

Dan closed his eyes, moving his hips hopelessly to get some relief. "I want to ride you," he breathed quietly, feeling like his face was so red it would fall off.  
"You want to ride my cock?"

"Yeah," said Dan with a pathetic little nod. Phil moved his fingers lightly touching Dan's entrance. Dan arched his back, desperate to have them deeper, but just as quickly as they had appeared he moved them away again and Dan was left to whimper, his big brown eyes opening and looking down at Phil like a sad puppy. 

Phil had a wicked look in his eyes. "What did you want again?"

By this point Dan didn't give a shit about his dignity or his sobriety, he was so horny that he was two seconds away from shoving his own fingers inside himself. "I want to ride you, I want your cock inside me, please, please."

A little smile played at Phil's lips. "Of course baby, but just cause you asked so nicely."

Dan leaned his weight on his knees, and sat up, grinding on Phil as he did so and causing both of them to groan. Phil's arm reached over for his jeans and out of one of the pockets he grabbed a small packet of lube which he spread over his fingers before positioning them at Dan's entrance. Dan didn't hesitate for a moment, he lowered himself onto Phil's fingers given a loud moan as he did so. That alone felt so good. He began moving his hips, eagerly fucking himself on Phil's fingers until he felt them pull out. 

Dan opened his eyes. He was sweating and red, and so turned on he wasn't sure he was capable of speech. Underneath him, Phil's face was very serious. "If you want anything up that gorgeous ass of yours, you are going to keep your eyes open," despite the menace in his words his voice was soft. 

A little whimper escaped Dan and he moved his hips again, nodding to show that he understood. Phil slid his fingers back in easily, this time adding a third one. Dan felt deliciously shameless as he bounced up and down on them, letting them reach as far as they could, and feeling him bend them each time more to increase the intensity. Dan was quickly losing control of myself, his cock was leaking, he was sweating and flushed, and aching for more. Phil seemed to sense it and slowly withdrew his fingers and grabbed the condom that he had stashed along with the lube packet. He handed it to Dan who ripped it open in a hurry and put it over him, stroking his cock a couple of times before positioning it at his entrance. 

As he lowered himself Dan gave a deep sigh of satisfaction. It was even better than he remembered. Phil seemed to fill him completely and perfectly, like no one ever had before, bringing him a kind of satisfaction that he hadn't even known existed. After a moment he began to move, shifting up and down with expert hip movements. As he did so Phil groaned, his hands moving to the small of Dan's back and pushing him deeper down on his cock. After a couple of minutes, Dan's movements became erratic, crazed. There was so much pleasure coursing through him, that he was half screaming, his eyes shut, his head tilted back. Phil's hand was pumping at his cock, and it was the best and most intense moment of his life. 

He came violently, his cum splattering down on Phil's chest, and shoulders, and a gaping sound escaping his mouth. Phil came mere seconds later, his fingernails clamping hard on Dan's hips and leaving little red marks. Dan had exerted himself so much he was shaking, sweat and cum coating most of his body, but he didn't dare move. He was in the after waves, his legs stiff. He waited a minute so like that, until he felt Phil pull out of him. Then, at last, he opened his eyes. 

The room seemed very bright all of a sudden, and Phil very close. Dan felt his face heat up again. He had been very loud, maybe even louder than the last time. And he hadn't drunk. And it wasn't dark. And, he gulped, he was still straddling him, completely naked with his eyes blown and his hair a mess. Underneath him Phil was smiling, his hand caressing the skin he had been digging his nails into a minute before. "That was amazing," he said breathily. 

Dan couldn't find the words to speak. He was far too embarrassed. Awkwardly he moved off the couch and began gathering up the clothes that he had thrown on the floor. Phil watched him with a frown on his brow. "Is everything alright?" 

"Yeah, yeah," said Dan as he quickly threw on his boxers. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm just-" Dan stopped. Phil was still naked on the couch, and he looked very good. He bit his lip. "I just wasn't sure if you'd want me to stay or-"

Phil seemed frankly astounded and he sat up quickly. "Of course I want you to stay." He pulled Dan close and gave him a kiss. "Really, that was so good."

"Yeah?" said Dan, the blush returning to his cheeks. 

"Definitely, you are so hot, and you really know how to move those hips."

Dan laughed. "I can't believe you made me keep my eyes open while I was doing that."

Phil pulled him into a warm embrace. "That was the best part."

"Don't hug me, I'm all gross."

"Not at all," Phil kissed his pink cheek. "But we can take a shower if you want."

At those words, Dan felt himself get hard again. Damn, why was he always horny. "That sounds good," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone that's reading this!


	6. Chapter 6

Phil's bathroom was small, with a basket of dirty laundry on one side, and a shower on the other. The bathmat was electric green. As they entered Phil began shoving bottles and towels aside to make the place a little neater. But of course, Dan’s only focusing was on how attractive he looked, as he was still completely naked. Finally, he turned the shower.

"How hot do you like it?"

"Whatever," said Dan with a shrug. This was another thing he had never done with anyone before he realized as Phil stepped.

Dan slid out of his boxers and joined him a moment later, hoping that he wouldn't notice his arousal. But of course, he did and gave a little smirk. "That didn't take long," he said a hand gesturing to Dan's hard on.

He blushed. "Yeah... I," he couldn't find a way to finish the sentence. The shower was quite small and they were very close together, warm water falling down on them.

"I guess I probably would have been like that at your age if anyone had wanted to sleep with me that is," said Phil, before leaning over and kissing him again. Their bodies got entangled under the water, soft, wet skin, smacking together, and Phil's smooth hands, which Dan liked so much moving down his body again. Dan closed his eyes, leaning against the older boy as his hand moved slowly down to his crotch.

Phil pumped him leisurely as they kissed, steam rising against them. His other hand tweaked at Dan's nipple, causing him to make pitiful little moans. The water that came down felt hotter now, and the heat and the steam made it difficult to breathe as Phil continued his movements. He leaned him against the cold tile of the shower, his hand running over Dan's flat stomach, and the sharp turn where his hip jutted out. Dan closed his eyes as he saw Phil move to his knees, and the next second he felt warm lips around his cock. Like with everything else Phil seemed to know exactly what he wanted without ever needing to be told. He moved slowly, wrapping his tongue around his cock while he squeezed Dan's thigh hard, parting his legs a little. Dan moaned as Phil licked him gently, while he moved his hands lower to massage Dan's balls.

It didn't take long for him to cum but unlike last time when he had howled and withered, this time he was too tired and satisfied to do much more than stay on his feet, and lean against Phil. When he finished he felt Phil kiss at his hip and then slowly move up until they were facing each other again. Dan cracked his eyes open and smiled sheepishly at him. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he said before wrapped Dan into a tight embrace. They spent another half an hour soaping each other up, giggling and kissing, and trying not to slip in the soapy, misty room. Afterward ,Phil went out in a towel to fetch their clothes, and to inform Dan that it was almost eight o'clock.

"I can't believe that," said Dan once he had finished dressing. Going home was just about the last thing that he wanted to do. He looked over at Phil as he ran a hand through his hair. Would they still see each other? Was that how this worked? Were they dating? He gulped and shook his head. No, this was probably just a two-time thing. They had had their fun, and quite a bit of it, and now it was most likely that Phil wouldn't ever want to see him again.

"Do you have anything interesting coming up this week?" he asked as he looked over at Dan.

"No, nothing." There was nothing in his life really, except the clubs.

"Would you want me to meet sometime?"

At this Dan broke out into a huge smile despite himself. "Yes," he answered very quickly.

Phil grinned too and grabbed his hand. "I don't want to bother you throughout the week, so Friday night?"

"Perfect," said Dan, although he wished that wasn't five days away.

They hugged goodbye, and \then Phil walked him to the bus station. On the way there they talked about anime and TV-shows and how much they both wanted to go to Japan, and by the time Dan was on the bus he was smiling so much his cheeks hurt. He leaned his head against the window as he began the long ride home, thinking that this had been even better than last time.

Was this love? Was this happiness? Was this what people meant when they said that someone was perfect? When he got home he spent ten minutes greeting his family and watching a very dumb gameshow with them, but as soon as he could he made his way up to his room and shut the door. He lay on the bed and pulled out his phone. He wanted to message Phil but it felt too needy. He lay it down beside him and decided that if Phil hadn't texted him in one hour he would. Twenty minutes later he was fast asleep.

-

The week that followed felt like an endless accumulation of days, not merely seven, but at least seven hundred. Dan was in a horrible mood and got into several more fights with his parents because they said that he was on his phone too much. Of course, he had to be on his phone all the time because that was the only way he had to contact Phil. They spoke throughout the days, about what they were eating, or watching, or how dull school was. Dan tried to make his life sound more exciting that it was, and a couple of times told him he was out of with friends so that Phil wouldn't know what a loser he was. Bu the truth was that the only highlight of his days was messaging him.

By the time Friday got there, Dan had apologized to his parents and arranged everything so that he could spend all night (and maybe even a part of his Saturday) at Phil's and he couldn't be any more excited. After school, he went straight home to shower, and put on clean clothes before meeting Phil in the city. They had arranged to meet at six, at a little bar that Phil said he often went to. Dan arrived twenty minutes early and took a seat nervously in a corner table.

As soon as he arrived he saw the waitress's eyes look him up and down, making a note to ask for ID. Dan stuffed his wallet deeper into his pocket, wishing he hadn't brought it at all. He knew he should feel bad about lying to Phil about his age. But what did that matter in the end? He would be sixteen in four months, and it wasn't like they were doing anything that he hadn't done before.... But he knew Phil wouldn't like it, hell that first night he had seemed hesitant to sleep with a seventeen-year-old.

When the waitress came round all Dan asked for was a Dr. Pepper and then he wiped out his phone and tried to distract himself with a stupid app. Phil arrived at the time arranged, while Dan was staring at the door like a puppy. He smiled and walked over with long strides. "Hey, it's nice to see you," he said taking a seat opposite Dan.

"Definitely," Dan said, running his hand nervously through his hair.

Phil gave a little chuckle. "Do you want me to order something?"

"Um, well I don't think that girl is going to serve me."

"Oh, right," said Phil. "Do you want something to eat maybe?"

Dan was not hungry in the slightest but he agreed all the same. They ordered the nachos, and while they waited for them to arrive Phil told him a funny story about something that had happened in class that day. Dan barely listened. Phil was wearing a buttoned up shirt, and his skin looked so smooth and pretty. How could anyone have such perfect skin? And then there were the moments when he smiled, and his eyes seemed to glow, and Dan just couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. He was too good looking.  
"Anyhow, what was your week like?"

"Alright," said Dan, taking a quick sip of his soda. "Nothing much."

Phil nodded. "Mostly Halo?"

"Yeah, all the good parts were Halo."

Their food arrived and they got distracted by the eating. It was quite good. But Dan still felt strangely nervous and found it difficult to turn down his inner monologue. This was the third time they met, but in some ways, Phil was still a complete stranger and Dan still had this irrational fear that he didn't like him at all. But then why did he ask me out again? Dan would wonder as he looked at him from the corner of his eyes. Why else? There's only one reason that people like you. He blushed. No, that couldn't be it, or they would already be fucking. Phil seemed genuinely to like his company, the question why, why would anyone want to spend time with him?

"Is something the matter?"

"No," said Dan taking another nacho.

"You sure?"

Dan sighed; it was hard staring into the eyes and thinking anything of substance at all. "Do you like me," he suddenly blurted out.

Phil laughed. "What?"

Dan tried to repeat himself but stumbled over the words.

"Of course I like you, Dan," said Phil in a voice so soft it Dan squirm. "I just-" he paused for a moment. "I've never been in anything like this. Cause I feel like we have a lot in common and amazing chemistry but," he stopped. "We don't really know much about each other, and you're really young."

"That shouldn't have anything to do with it."

Phil sighed. "Maybe not, I don't know, I just like spending time with you." He smiled, and Dan felt a sudden warmth in his chest. "How do you feel?"

He bit his lip. What was he supposed to say? He had never had a date before, he had never had a partner before, he had never had anything but sleazy one night stands. "I like you," he answered. Phil reached across the table and laid his pale hand over Dan's.

"Well it's nice we got that figured out."

They finished eating and the Phil paid the bill. As they left, a little bell at the door rang after them, and gently Phil wrapped his arm around his waist. Night had fallen but the city was bright and busy. "Do you wanna go dancing, get drink, movie, go home?"

"Drink sounds good," said Dan with a laugh. He missed his alcohol. It had been a week since his last drink. They walked together and entered the first gay bar they found. It was a slightly dingy place, stuffed in a basement with bartenders in their 30's who eyed them both a little too much. They sat down at a red counter and ordered a round of cocktails, and as soon as he took the first drink Dan felt a familiar courage filling him up. He downed it quickly and then got another.

By then he had shuffled quite close to Phil, leaning partially against him as he told him about his YouTube career. "It's like a fun hobby, but I do think it's got a bigger place in the future. Maybe in twenty years, no one will even have a TV and it'll all just be online."

"Sounds amazing," said Dan. "You haven't told me how to find your videos though."

"Well, that's because they're embarrassing."

"Nah," Dan gulped down the last of his drink. "I'm sure they're adorable. You're adorable."

Phil laughed and kissed him, it tasted like sugar and vodka, Dan's two favorite things and he squirmed in his seat without meaning to. He was sure Phil noticed, cause he moved a little closer to him, their bodies now touching from shoulder to hip. "But what do you do in your videos?"

"Mostly talk, sometimes I do little skits and stuff."

"Like SMOSH," he had seen some of their videos.

"Less elaborate," the waitress came around and Dan eagerly ordered them another set of drinks. Phil watched him. "Do you always drink this much?" he said quietly.  
Dan cocked his head to the side. "Makes things easier I guess," he said as he finished off his last drink. It was only then he noticed that Phil was still holding a full glass. "Oh, sorry, did you not want more? I can-" he half-stood up to get the waiter’s attention but stopped when Phil put a hand over his.

"Don't worry about it, I can drink more."

"Okay." Dan sat back down his face pink. He had to remember that Phil was different to him and most of the people he knew. He drank to enjoy himself, not to get wasted.

Their drinks arrived, and Dan grabbed his and starting sipping it, feeling Phil's beautiful blue eyes on him. "Dan," he said quietly, "Are you nervous?"

"A little," said Dan without looking up from his drink.

Phil put an arm around him. "Don't be, I meant what I said before, I really like you."

Dan set down his drink. Phil looked wonder in the lights and without even thinking about it he leaned over and kissed him. A second later he felt a strong hand at his waist, and moved closer to him, practically sitting on his lap. There were fingers running through his hair as they kissed more passionately, all thoughts of drinks and YouTube completely forgotten. Totally forgetting that they were in a very public place, Dan spread his legs to either side of Phil''s, grinding down on him through their jeans, as Phil's hand moved steadily lower, till it was grabbing his ass. They only stopped kissing cause Phil felt the icky stares of some of the older men around them and gently guided Dan to his feet. “Let’s get out of here,” he muttered, paying their bills and then walking out of the place, his arm protectively around Dan’s waist.

They hurried back to the apartment, constantly touching each other as they walked. Phil had his arm around Dan’s waist and occasionally he would pull him closer and they would kiss under the streetlights. Dan felt drunk although he hadn’t had much alcohol. There was something intoxicatingly warm about being with Phil and it seemed to blaze up as they got closer to his building. They stumbled clumsily through the apartment until they reached the bedroom, their lips not separating for a moment.

Their clothes flew off in seconds and then they tumbled naked onto to the bed, Dan on top of him. Was there anything lovelier than Phil’s skin? He wondered as he moved his mouth down his beautiful neck to the crevice at his collarbone. Phil was making low little moans, his eyes closed, and Dan was living for it. His hands were stroking the sides of his torso as he continued kissing his white shoulders. Phil had his hands firmly on his ass, grabbing the taunt skin before giving it a playful smack.

A whoreish moan escaped Dan, and Phil gave a wicked smile.

“Like getting spanked?”

Dan wiggled in place instead of answering and Phil hit him again, this time much harder.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he detached his mouth from Phil’s skin.

“Too hard?” asked Phil a mild look of concern on his face.

“No,” said Dan quickly, biting at his lower lip. “Can you do it again?”

Phil gave him a wicked smile and then quickly flipped them over so that he was on top. Instinctually Dan shuffled over onto his stomach, his legs spread and his knees bent underneath him so that his ass was in the air. This time he didn’t even give a thought to how exposed he was his mind was blissed out in anticipation.

“You look so fucking good like this,” said Phil before spanking him again. “Seriously, you have the most perfect ass I’ve ever seen,” he hit him again, the sound of contact ringing sharply through the air. The sting of it was amazing, and Dan loved the image of his white ass slowly turning red with handprints. He braced himself for another hit and when it didn’t come he wiggled his butt again shuffling closer to Phil.

“What, you want more?”

“Yes,” said Dan his face burning red and buried in the pillow.

“You gotta ask for it baby, remember?”

Dan grimaced, his old inhibitions glowing back. “Can you-“

“Yes?”

He arched his back giving Phil an open invitation to do whatever he wanted with him. “Can you spank me again, please,” he said in a hushed voice.

“As long as you ask,” said Phil before doing as promised. The hits were rhythmic and never quite hard enough, but regardless Dan loved them and every time Phil would stop he would beg for more until he was collapsed on the bed, his legs spread wide and his dripping cock grinding desperately against the bed sheets. Phil’s hands were moving over the tender skin of his ass while his mouth kissed softly at his milky white thighs.

“Now what do you want baby?” he whispered.

“I wanna fuck,” said Dan who was horny to the point of desperation, his eyes watery.

“Mmm, that sounds good,” said Phil as he kissed him again. “If I haven’t mentioned it before, I love being inside you.”

Dan blushed and opened his legs a little wider. “Then hurry,” he whined.

He heard the telltale signs of Phil grabbing the bottle of lube and then felt wet, cold fingers teasing around his entrance. He grinded his hips back to push against him as he felt as a single finger slide in. Dan gave a muffled moan against the pillow as Phil moved it carefully in and out of him before slowly putting in a second. Dan relaxed into the feeling as he expertly scissored him. It was so nice to be with someone that he could trust someone that really took care of him.

“That’s good enough,” he said as he felt more precum sticking between the sheets and his cock.

“You sure? I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Yeah,” said Dan. “Just go slow.”

Phil withdrew his fingers and Dan gave an unsatisfied whine. It always sucked being empty afterward. He heard the cabinet open again, and then several things being moved and shuffled. “Fuck.”

Dan opened his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I-“Phil was pulling out vibrators and cords randomly from the cabinets. “I think I ran out of condoms.”

“Oh.”  
“Yeah, I’m sorry,’ said Phil turning back to him. “Well, we can still-“

“I think I have one in my wallet,” said Dan. He loved blow jobs, and rim jobs, and hand jobs, but for him, there was nothing quite like being penetrated.

“Awesome,” said Phil with obvious relief as he hopped off the bed. Dan smiled at him, god, he looked so good naked. And it was just so nice to spend time with him after a whole week of texting him and thinking about him. Phil pulled out Dan’s wallet and looked through it for a second before pulling out the foil package, he was about to close it again when he suddenly stopped.

“Hurry up,” Dan said impatiently as Phil continued to crouch there on the floor, and then suddenly he sat up. His wallet. He had allowed, no, he had instructed Phil to look through his wallet. “Phil come to bed,” he said, part of him already realizing that it was too late. Phil hadn’t moved an inch, his eyes glued to Dan’s ID card. “Phil.” Dan’s voice rung with desperation.

Finally, Phil looked up at him, but his face was completely different than before. He looked paler, and his eyes were hard, every trace of a smile gone from his face. “You lied to me,” he said quietly.

“It’s not… that’s… don’t,” Dan stumbled on his words and finally fell silent.

Phil dropped the wallet and snatched his pants from the ground quickly putting them on. “What are you doing?” said Dan quickly panicking.

“Get dressed,” said Phil picking up Dan’s pants and throwing them at him.

“What?” said Dan, who was hard and stretched and horny as fuck.

“What do you mean what? I’m taking you home.”

“But, can’t we just-“

Phil’s eyes widened and he looked at Dan like he had never seen him before. “Just what? Have sex? Absolutely not, you’re fifteen,” he said the word like it was an insult.

Dan flinched at his tone but didn’t back down. “So what, we’ve fucked before, it’s not like anything’s changed.”

“Yes, it absolutely has. God, what’s the matter with you? You’re just a kid, I could go to jail for this.”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“That’s not the point Dan,” said Phil the words echoing angrily around the room.

“But-“ Dan whimpered. He was so horny he actually didn’t think he would be able to walk out of there.

“Get dressed,” said Phil who was pulling on his t-shirt.

“I’m really horny,” said Dan in a whisper, his hips subconsciously wiggling against the bedding.

“I don’t care, get dressed.” He turned around but stayed in the room as Dan got agonizingly to his feet and started to get dressed. Putting on his pants and underwear literally felt like torture and he whimpered as he did up the buttons. He found that he was shivering and felt slightly sick.

“I’ll be sixteen in a few months,” he said as he picked up his t-shirt from the ground.

Phil winced. “This isn’t remotely about that.”

“It isn’t?”

“No,” he turned around to look at Dan. “You’re a kid and you shouldn’t be having sex with adults, that’s what this is about.”

“But what’s the difference? Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, it’s all-“

“I’m not having this argument with you,” Phil shouted making Dan jump. “I’m sorry, but I have a right to be upset with you, you lied to me.”

“It’s not a big deal, I’ve been with-“

“Well if you’ve done this before, then that’s really sad Dan.”

And it was, wasn’t? His whole life was sad. Without thinking Dan sat down on the edge of the bed, it felt like the whole room was spinning and the only thing he was aware of was that he was crying, and he had no right to. Phil didn’t deserve this. He shouldn’t have to deal with him. He was right, Dan had lied. After a moment he felt the weight of Phil’s body next to his on the bed, and a comforting arm went around his shoulders.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I really fucking hate my life,” said Dan in one great breathless sob.

“I’m sorry about that, but this isn’t helping anything.”

“It’s just, that being at clubs it’s the only way,” his voice trailed off because Dan couldn’t say it, he couldn’t say it to himself and he couldn’t say it to Phil. It was the only way he felt alive. The only way he felt wanted. The only way he felt loved. But it paled in comparison to everything Phil had given him these last two weeks, not just the sex, but the companionship, the stupid jokes, the video games.

Phil rubbed at his shoulder. “Things get better,” he said.

“My parents don’t give a shit about me, and I don’t have any friends, how will that get better?”

“You’ll learn to deal with your parents, you’ll make new friends. You can move out. Make a life, it’s what I did.”

Dan looked up at him. “I’m really sorry, you’re just so nice and I really really liked you.”

He saw Phil swallow slowly as if he was pondering his words. “I’m gonna drive you home, but after that, I don’t think we should have any contact because I really like you too.”

The sound that came out of Dan’s mouth was between a sob and a howl, it was horrible, but he was too sad to be embarrassed about it. Gently, Phil guided him out of the apartment, and then they got into PJ’s car. Dan gave him directions and they drove through the dark streets without talking, Dan shivering in his seat through his heavy coat. When they got to the correct corner, Phil stopped the car and looked over at him.

“I want you to take care of yourself Dan, please don’t just go off with anyone, even if it feels good.”

Despite having a million things to say, Dan’s throat was dry, and the only thing he could manage was a nod.

“Did you hear me?” said Phil softly. “No more clubs, no more adults, please. Just know that things get better and that at some point you will find people who genuinely like you.”  
“Thanks,” he finally croaked out.

His hand went to the handle of the door but then looked back at Phil and his eyes filled with tears again at the thought that he might never see him again. “Can I hug you?”

Wordlessly Phil reached over and they wrapped their arms around each other. It only lasted a few seconds, but it made Dan’s heartache. He left the car feeling miserable, dragging his feet and thinking about the loneliness he was returning to. These had been the best weeks of his life, the most fun he had ever had, and now they were over. He walked up to his house in the dark and instantly barricaded himself in his room with his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ello. Thanks again to anyone who's read this. I ended up smooshing two chapters together so the next chapter is the last one. If you have any questions/comments I'm the-wakeless on Tumblr. The last chapter should be up this week.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

The next few years weren’t much fun for Dan but through it all he remembered what Phil had told him. He stopped going to clubs, and he tried to stop minding when people in his life acted like they didn’t care about him. He concentrated on his school work, read a lot, and sometimes around his actual seventeenth birthday, he got a boyfriend his own age. It was a triumph, and its bliss lasted for six months. 

The following September he went to Manchester to study law, and there just like Phil had predicted everything changed. He hated his studies, but he found so many people he loved, and who actually appreciated his company. He had friends and a series of age-appropriate boyfriends, and he was proud of himself for building a life that he considered pleasant, if not exactly wonderful. 

As the years passed, and boyfriends came and went, Dan, found himself thinking about Phil just as much as the last night they had seen each other. At fifteen Phil had felt special; there had been a unique chemistry between them. But then he had been fifteen, and he didn’t know anything about love, no matter how much anonymous sex he had had. But at 20 he still felt Phil was special. And at 25 when he was unhappily working for a law firm in London, Phil was still in many regards the best partner he had ever had, even if it had just been for a couple of weeks ten years in the past. 

With him, everything had felt easy and they had shared a disturbing amount of things in common. Of course, since then Dan had had his fair share of good relationships, but they had all taken work, they had required compromises. Which was why he was currently single. He found it difficult to find someone who wanted the life that he did. Someone that was happy just playing video games, watching movies, and stay inside. Most guys his age wanted adventures, they wanted clubs, and threesomes, and parties, and Dan was done with all those things. 

In his teenage years he had texted Phil many times, usually after something especially terrible had happened, like when he had come out to his parents, or when his first boyfriend had cheated on him. But he had never received any reply. He often thought often about finding him but it seemed unlikely, after all, London was a big place, and there was a good chance that he wasn’t even here anymore, or that he had long ago forgotten about him. 

Now, looking back at what he had been doing when he was 14 and 15, he felt the urge to hug his skinny, twinky past self. How had grown 30 year old men not felt disgusted being with him? How had they so easily taken advantage of him? Now, in those rare occasions when he was at a Club he made a point of going up to the youngest looking person there and telling them to go home, to think things over, telling them that they should value themselves more. And it wasn’t about being a prude, or not having casual sex, Dan still enjoyed that from time to time, but as a teenager, the risks are too great. You don’t’ know anything, and it’s so easy for you to get hurt. Looking back Dan honestly can’t believe nothing bad ever happened to him. He could have easily gotten raped, murdered, or kidnapped, and maybe he would have if he hadn’t met Phil. 

If he hadn’t met him he wouldn’t have stopped going to Clubs, Dan knew that much. He wouldn’t have stopped sleeping with adults and would have continued to tank his education. Everything in his life had shifted after Phil, and he had become a better a person, if not a happy one. He was still unhappy but for other reasons. He had some friends in the city, and his job left him a very comfortable income, but he hated it. It was boring and hard, and it often felt like he was taking advantage of people, besides he wasn’t out to anyone at his conservative office and so he was always on his guard. But having a sucky job shouldn’t weight down the rest of your life, so Dan always tried to look at the goods things. Like the fact that Pokemon-Go had finally come to England, and that he could pretend to be in one of his favorite games. 

He was walking around the * Park, on a sunny Saturday in the summer, when someone standing by the lake caught his eye. Dan looked over at them, and his heart stopped. He could see the back of a black head, skinny jeans, and a shiny blue and red jacket. It looked like he remembered Phil, but then again he had thought that plenty of times throughout the years. The man had a phone in his hands and below him in the narrow strip between the lake and his shoes, there were a couple of baby ducks waddling. 

Dan took a deep breathed, and completely prepared for disappointment walked over to him. He didn’t want to be creepy so he came up a few feet away from him, with his phone in his hands, hopefully looking like someone who just wanted a selfie with a duck. When he was standing next to him, Dan gave a little gasp, because it was the same face, the same person. Ten years had passed, but much like a Vampire, Phil looked remarkably the same as Dan remembered him, the only real exception being that his hair was shorter and that he was now wearing very flattering black-rimmed glasses. 

At the sound he made Phil looked over at him, and immediately Dan felt paralyzed. But it seemed he didn’t recognize him or remember him because his eyes, beautiful blue-green eyes, looked back over at the water. He was taking a step away when Dan, a sudden panic gripping him at the thought of never seeing him again, yelled; “Stop,” like a maniac. 

Phil’s shot him a weird look. “Sorry?”

Dan grimaced at his own action and had to stop himself from smacking his forehead. “You’re Phil right?” he said his tone desperate. 

Phil cocked his head to the side. “Yeah,” his eyes looked over him slowly and then they widened, the pupils dilated. “Dan?”

“Yeah.” He had no idea how he was even managing to speak, he had thought about this moment thousands of times. 

“Wow,” Phil’s eyes looked his over, a little smile playing on his lips. “You look incredible, your hair…” he said pointing a finger to Dan’s curls. 

“Thanks,” said Dan brushing it aside with trembling fingers. “You look great too, better even than I remember you,” he said a big goofy smile on his lips. They stared at each other in silence for a moment and then Dan continued, his words coming out in a nervous rush. “I am so happy I got to see you again, I really want to thank you, you helped me more than anyone ever has.”

“I hope that’s not true, I didn’t do anything.”

“You definitely did,” said Dan. 

Phil sighed. “I thought about you a lot, especially with those messages you used to send me. I just didn’t think it was appropriate to message-“

“I totally understand that now,” said Dan with a sigh. “I didn’t then, I was an idiot.”

He shrugged. “You were just a kid, I was the idiot, I should have asked to see your ID the first night, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I think I can guess,” said Dan, a smile flirting on his lips. 

Phil let out a little chuckle. “You probably can.”

Dan’s heart was going a thousand times a minute and he knew if he didn’t go for it now he would spend the next 10 years bitterly regretting it. “Would you like to grab dinner sometime?”

“Um….” Phil laughed. “Isn’t that a little weird?”

“Why? I’m twenty-five, I’m a lawyer, I have ID to prove it.”

He laughed again. “You became a lawyer, that’s so grown up!”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m still hopelessly immature most of the time. I literally came to this park to catch Pokémon.”

“Really, me too!”

Dan erupted into laugher. “Wow, what a sophisticated 30-year-old man you’ve become Philip.”

“Shut up,” he said closing the gap between them and giving Dan the gentlest shove of his life. 

“I really never thought I’d see you again,” said Dan, aware of the narrowed space between them, and Phil’s beautiful eyes. 

“Me neither.”

“I had the best time with you,” he said. “Even though I was feeling like shit at the time.”

“I thought a lot about meeting you,” said Phil, “But in my head, you stayed the same, but somehow you look even better now. More yourself.”

“Thanks,” Dan was barely breathing. “So where do we stand on dinner?”

He felt Phil’s hand slowly move to his waist. “How does lunch sound?”

“Even better,” said Dan before the space between them vanished in one perfect kiss, ten years in the making.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the ending is a good balance of sad and sappy cause that's what i was going for. Thanks a lot to anyone who read it, and everyone who reviewed it. I'm planning on posting more phanfics in the coming months.... so yeah.... thank you.


End file.
